With A Twist

“How are you?” I asked you yesterday.

You said, “I’m fine”.
I knew you were lying.
A woman like you can’t be ‘just fine’.

But since you insisted, my heart accepted it… with a twist:

If you’re fine, it’s the same ‘fine’ used to describe…

The skill of a veteran jazz pianist,

The beauty of historical architecture,
The finesse of seasoned chef,
The taste of well-aged wine.

“How are you now?” I asked you yesternight.

You said, “I’m good”. 

I knew you were lying. 

To describe a woman like you, ‘good’ is not good enough.

But since you insisted, my heart accepted it…again with a twist:

If you’re good, it’s the same ‘good’ we all feel…

When your crush compliments you,

When a baby smiles at you in a public place,

When your parents smile because of you,

When a job meeting gets cancelled,

When a… the list went on and the night had passed. It was morning again...

Today I didn’t ask you how you were
I just said “I Love You”

Because “There is no point”, said my mind
“There is no point of me reading between the lines
With a foolish besotted heart that accepts lies”.

My heart gave a mindful reply,
“Because that’s what a heart does. It doesn’t read between the lines, it reads between paragraphs. It knows sometimes all you need is time. You give them a day to rediscover why they deserve to be loved. The next day is your time to add more reasons to that list. The reasons you discovered, when you accepted the lies…with a twist.” 

--- Rakshit Nair

______________

Tum ajnabee thi. Ab dilchaspi ho.
Dilnawaz ho? Pata nahi.

Tum sirf haseen thi. Ab azeez ho.
Rooh ke qarib ho? Khabar nahi.

Tum shaunk thi. Ab aadat ho.
Zaroorat ho? Maloom nahi.

Tum subah ka junoon thi. Ab shaam ki khushi ho.
Raat ka sukoon ho? Pata nahi.

Tum samundar ki lehar thi. Ab uspar terti kashti ho.
Kinaara ho? Khabar nahi.

Tum sher thi. Ab ghazal ho.
Iss ghazal ka naam ho? Zaroori nahi.

--- Rakshit Nair

Shayad

Aaj tumhare tofe mei di hui ghadi toot gyi.
Shayad uska waqt khatam hogya hai.
Aaj tumhare alvida ko
1 mahina, 2 hafte aur 3 din hogye hain.
Parr ab toh ghadi toot gyi hai.
Shayad waqt ka hisaab rakhna bhi chhoot jaye…

Alvida k baad bhi ghadi utaari nahi maine.
Iss ghadi ne voh pal bhi bitaaya hai jab hum saath the
Aur voh pal bhi jab unhi palo ki bass yaadei saath thi.
Meri aur yaado ki humesha se banti hai.
Voh kya haina, meri yaad dasht achhi hai
Toh yaad sab hai mujhe.
Sirf achhi yaadei yaad karta hoo aur khush rehta hoo.
Par ab toh ghadi toot gyi hai.
Shayad yaadei yaad karna bhi chhoot jaaye…

'Shayad' likhna zaroori hai
Kyunki waqt ne hi sikhaya hai
Ki zindagi mei 'zaroor' bass maut hai
Baaki sab 'shayad' hai.
Jaise, socha tha tumhari yaado se ubarna namumkin hai,
Par aaj tumhare tofe mei di hui ghadi toot gyi.
Uska waqt khatam hogya hai.

---Rakshit Nair

Waqt Mere Saath Hai

Kaano ko aadat hai ek awaaz ki, chhudwani padegi
Aankho ko aadat hai ek chehre ki, chhudwani padegi
Zubaan ko aadat hai ek naam ki, chhudwani padegi
Saaso ko aadat hai ek khushboo ki, chhudwani padegi
Yeh sab toh chhoot jaengi waqt k chalte
Mushqil toh hai dil ki aadat chhudwana, fikar karne ki...
Parr iss baar waqt mere saath hai,
Dil ko fikar bass khudki hai...

Waqt saath hai toh yaadei kamzor padjati hain
Yaadei hain bhi kya? Beete hue waqt ka chhota sa ek pehlu
Waqt pehlu se bada hota hai.
Aur waqt mere saath hai...

Waqt ka jaadu yhi hai, yeh qatil bhi hai aur maseeha bhi
Yeh raat ka akelapan bhi hai aur din ki dosti bhi
Yeh sota hua sapna bhi hai aur jaagta hua khwaab bhi
Yeh kadwi sharab bhi hai aur adrak vali chai bhi
Yeh kal bhi hai, aaj bhi hai aur kal bhi
Mera man pasand aaj ka waqt hai... Yeh mere saath hai

---Rakshit Nair

Iss Daud Mei...

Iss daud mei ki hal nikal loo
Zindagi k maslo-mushkilo ka,
Uljhano-pahelio ka;
Bhool gya ki kitna zaroori hai
Dil k zakhmo par marham lagana.
Bhool gya ki kitna zaroori hai
Unn zakhmo k dard ko mehsoos karna.

Bhoola nahi tha darasal,
Itna toh yaad hai mujhe ki hisaabse
Bachaake rakhe the chaar pal,
Ki kisi roz jab yeh daud khatam hogi
Toh chaar nahi toh do pal hi sahi,
Par nikalunga zaroor aur zakhmo par marham lagaunga,
Aur dard ko mehsoos karunga...

Aakhir dil toh apna hota haina.
Yeh toote ya roothe, hume jodna aur manana toh aata hi hai.
Kyunki aakhir dil toh apna hi haina,
Aur apno ko hi toh halke mei liya jaata hai...

Aaj mann bhar aaya
Daud toh khatam nahi hui
Parr dil tham sa gya
Socha aaj nikaal hi doo do pal
Unn palo se jo bachake rakhe the

Maange do pal the, par chaar mil gye.
Lekin marham lagane k liye zakhm nahi tha;
Voh sookh chuka tha.
Mehsoos karne k liye dard nahi tha;
Voh jaa chuka tha.
Apni yaad mei bass ghaav ka nishaan chhodkar...

Baat kuch aisi thi ki
Chaar pal k intezaar ne
Dil ko khud judna sikhadiya tha.
Roothne se kuch nahi milta
Yeh paath padha diya tha.
Yaani yun kaho, dil ne khudko theek karna seekh liya tha...

Dekha jaaye toh achhi baat hai,
Parr mujhe afsos hua.
Afsos hua kyunki ehsaas hua
Ki koi apna paraya hogya
Afsos hua ki halke mei liya
Parr sabse zada afsos toh iss baat ka hua
Ki iss afsos ka dard bhi mehsoos nahi hua...

---Rakshit Nair

Parr Iss Pagalpan Se Pyaar Hai Mujhe

Duniya ki nazar mei pagalpan hoga,

Parr iss pagalpan se pyaar hai mujhe...

Agar der raat tak tere

Khayal jagaye rakhte hain,

Phir kuch ghante sojane parr

Tere khwaab chehre parr mere

Muskan banaye rakhte hain,

Aur phir bhi meri aankhei subah
Sabse pehle chehra tera
Dekhne ki khwaish rakhti hain,

Duniya ki nazar mei pagalpan hoga,
Parr iss pagalpan se pyaar hai mujhe...

Agar kuch zada waqt guzar jaata hai
Aayne mei khudko nihaarkar,
Aur bewaqt hass deta hoo
Mehfil ki vajah bhoolkar,

Agar cheeze rakh deta hoon
Jagah badalkar,
Aur ghar pohonchta hoon
Raasta bhoolkar,
Phir bhi yaad rehti hai teri khushboo...

Duniya ki nazar mei pagalpan hoga,
Parr iss pagalpan se pyaar hai mujhe...

Agar labo pe hai bass naam tera
Soch mei hai bass khayal tera,

Aur zubaan pe hain bas kisse tere,

Duniya ki nazar mei pagalpan hoga,

Parr iss pagalpan se pyaar hai mujhe...

---Rakshit Nair

I Wonder Why

You say you're a dark soul.
And they say eyes are a window to the soul.
Then I wonder why your eyes have the brightest sparkle...

You say you're a dark soul.
And they say only light can brighten you.
Then I wonder why meeting you is what brightens me.

You say you're a dark soul.
And they say dark souls can't be loved.
Then I wonder why being with you I exude love.

You say you're a dark soul.
And they say dark souls always remain strangers.
Then I wonder why it doesn't feel like I'm getting to know you.
It rather feels like I'm being reminded of someone I knew...at a different time...in a different place...in a different time frame...

---Rakshit Nair

To The One

To the one whose smile has no metaphor
And eyes have no lie,
To the one whose hair is like no simile
And voice as clear as sky, three words:
You are beautiful... 

To the one whose laugh is contagious
And charm, infectious
To the one who cares like a mother
And loves like a lover, four words:
You make Earth beautiful...

To the one whose aura bewitches me
And talks transcend me,
To the one who takes me to places no one else can
And understands things unsaid, five words:
You make me believe in magic...

That's six words. But logic takes a backseat because you must to be a dream...

---Rakshit Nair 

A Phonecall in the Night

Her voice uplifted my soul tonight,
My soul uplifted my cheeks.
It sings to me a lullaby
As tonight it can rest in peace.

I lie here with a subtle smile,
Eyelids shut my twinkling eyes.
They will twinkle tonight.
Because today is the night the clouds subside...
Not due to a storm but a gentle breeze...

My soul recites in its lullaby:
"How can her mere words suffice
To quieten your demons every time?"
It answers itself with a question again:
"Who quietens the demons better than an angel?"

It's not mere words, it's her musical voice.
Strings pulled right can quieten crowds.
It was a phonecall in the night.
But with that voice, it was not
Just a phonecall in the night...

Colours were added to the night.
Jigsaw found its lost piece.
Met my self after a long time.
She made me happier than pizza with extra cheese.
And if I come to die tonight
Tombstone will say, "Resting In Peace".

---Rakshit Nair

Tacenda

Her hair talked to my eyes
Her fragrance lured my nose
Her skin spoke to my skin
In a language which only they know

Her voice sang a song
My ears loved to listen
They didn't listen to the words
Just the music they carried within

Then, my eyes talked to her eyes
Told tales spanning pages
Few pure truths few cheeky lies
Amongst all, that conversation lasted the longest time
Eyeronic since they met for just a second, coz I'm shy

Amidst all talks my lips stayed together
For they knew we should never be together
The former always wins when it's head vs. heart
I guess that's why they call it a 'crush'
                                   

 ---Rakshit Nair

How Many Scars Did I Justify?

Both walked. Steps in sync.
Thoughts in sync.
Words on the tongue in sync.
But egos in sync too.

I've become a walking mortuary,
With bodies covered under my skin.
Dead bodies dying to be buried.
Bodies of unkept promises, together-forever-pictures, see-you-soon-messages...
Bodies of all the love I'm dying
To unlove inside of me...But. Just. Can't.

I think sometimes we cringe to burn down a bridge.
Maybe out of the admiration for its build,
Even though the landscape on the other side seems
Too barren and bleak.

For it may no longer carry the weight of its travellers.
But it still carries their stories...the conversations made,
The laughs gurgled, the tears shed, the memories shared.
We just leave it for time to weather and weaken...

And seasons later I come back again,
To sit on the same park bench.
The same bench we shared the last laughter in.
The bench is cold like it has always been.
And no, the weather is not the reason.
I continue to sit even though my bones feel the chill.
Just for one last time as I ponder and think:
How many scars did I justify
Because I loved the person wielding the knife? 

---Rakshit Nair

Lost in the Familiar...

Bewildered for brief
Baffled beyond belief
Billion thoughts bottled beneath
I becalm on the boulevard of broken dreams

Suffocating in the mediocrity
While others seem to be breathing free
Can't explain what it feels like
Feels like my throat threatened with a steel knife

Screaming inside. Freedom deprived.
Dragging through days tryna survive.
Scared of my own self...don't know why
It's like I'm dead but kept alive
Enough to feel the pain of my own demise

But "real eyes realize real lies"
I was just tied to the tides of time
Soul is the ether if time is the moon
Free and limitless...like the mind
Unpredictable like the rain off-monsoon

At the end of it all, just a dream survived...

To cut my hair and change my name
To start off clean slate
To storm out of my room one day
To head off unaware of the route or way
To just relish the journey
To seek and find my home some day...
                                

---Rakshit Nair

Jamais Vu

I’m a traveller. 
Every moment is a place I haven’t been before. 
Every person I meet isn’t somebody I have met before. 
Even the people I meet every day 
Aren’t the persons they were a day before.

Relations have lost names.
''Parent', 'Teacher', 'Relative', 'Friend''
Are just tags to be thrown in the bin.
Every person I meet is a book to be read, 
A book half-written. And I hold the pen 
To write the next chapter in.

Strings have been broken.
From everything and every person.
From everything out there and everything within. 
Not attached to even my own emotions.

And the word 'broken' has never been so relieving. 

Buried is my past and no worries of the future. 
It’s all about the now and the here.  

A void, filled with emptiness
An emptiness, brimmed with bliss 
A bliss, plump with love…

---Rakshit Nair 

Incomplete: Ode to my Girl Best Friend

I wish I could hug you once more
Tighter than ever before.

“I’m gonna miss you real bad”
Is something I wish I could tell.
But I know you’re real sad
With a heart that’s swelled.

Swelled with memories we share together
The hugs, the smiles, the talks, the laughter
I know this isn’t love
But something even better than that.

It’s a winter’s glove
A summer’s hat
A monsoon’s umbrella
An autumn’s cap.
A ship’s shore
A plane’s floor
Hahaha! Never before, probably my first,
That I’ve been so dumb with metaphors
But you know what we share is too much for words…

What we share is too surreal to deem
God! Now I feel so empty
Like my heart lost a piece
And my mind lost its peace
Amidst everyone I feel lonely

But I know distance is just a physical measure
A soulmate is a precious treasure
We may be galaxies apart
But I know in my heart
That no matter what
No matter how far…we’ll talk
We’ll talk in a language not written or read
In a language known to just you and me, we’ll talk

But I’ll miss the innocence in your eyes
And the honesty in your smile
The sparkle in your eyes
When you spoke of something you admire
I’ll miss the gurgle in your laughter
Which always makes me smile…

                                        ---Rakshit Nair

Mundane Money

Honestly, I’m just a ‘nillionaire’
My pockets have just lint and air.
I’m just a guttersnipe jamming his bread
With a butter knife.

But here’s something I wanna share:
In a country where ‘The Rupee’ sores
While ‘the rupees’ soar,
All your hard work is for money to be more
Loads of cash, some gold, long cars, a bungalow.

You’ve got no stories to tell, only got stuff to show.
You’re heading to hell is what I want you to know
Because that’s where people seeking money go.
Things are to be used and people to be loved
But in today’s world it’s the other way round.

Will Smith was right when he said and I quote:
“People spend money they have earned not
  To buy things they need not
  To impress people they like not.”

Luxury isn’t what you need but want
Luxury is with what you didn’t earn or own
It’s either with what you stole or you’re on a loan.

The word ‘loan’ reminds me of the bank concept:
It lends you money if you prove you don’t need it.
And if you fail to repay they treat you like a mad convict.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank with it
But with the bank you can rob the world. Dig it?
It’s a true fact that money makes you kiss pigs.
I’m talking about the piggy bank (just in case)

Money is a tool to be used
But men have become tools of their tools
And they choose to use this tool to lure
You into a dudehood too good to be true.
But once they find their shoe it’s the end of the pool
And out of the blue, with no notice of due
Or chance to brew; you’re shooed away like a used tissue.

I wish friends too were like currency notes
So I could hold them to light to check for those
Which are fake and hoax and pocket those
Who may drown yet lend me their boats 

But don’t feel bad if you’re left off a list
Don’t feel sad, it’s not an apocalypse
People usually reject an expensive thing
Because they can’t afford it.

Let’s think of a time that passed us.
Not much, just a little backwards,
Remember what you read in the first verse.
Yes I’m practically bankrupt.

Then what right do I have left
To speak of money at that depth?
The right to speak- the freedom of speech.
Which I’m provided in our country.
Though ‘free’dom of speech is an irony
Because my dad does pay phone bills.

                                                   ---Rakshit Nair

 

 
 

Nyctophilia

Are you afraid of dark?
Why is it so if you are?
It has to be Dark
For you to see stars.
It has to be Dark
For moonlit skies.

It is Dark when you close your eyes.
“For sleep?” You might think perhaps
But you close your eyes for more than that.

You close your eyes
When you smell flowers. It’s Dark
You close your eyes
When you taste the food you love. It’s Dark
You close your eyes
When you listen to your favourite songs. It’s Dark
You close your eyes
When you feel a kiss. It’s Dark

It is Dark when you pray.
In Dark pupils dilate
So do they do when
You look at your loved one, they say.

And yes we close our eyes when we sleep
We close our eyes when we dream
“Wake Up!” my conscience screams
“Wake Up! And chase your dream.”


The zeal to succeed is my caffeine to achieve.
And trust me at first dark is all it seems.
But whips and scrubs will help polish me
“What doesn’t kill me strongs me.”

Dark times beat you to your knees
But those times teach you to your feet.
The only person you need to beat today
Is the person you were yesterday

God didn’t breathe life into me
Just so I could dig six feet deep.
I don’t work to compete, I work to lead,
I work on mastery, to conquer the peak.
And then watch others compete
To make their feet reach my feat.

                                                   ---Rakshit Nair

What's Love

Love is the most unexplainable feeling on earth,
But also the most talked about under sky.
Love is a feeling we experience since birth;
But I don’t know why, it’s special when it’s for a girl or guy.

A soothing runs from hair tip to toe.
Thinking about ‘that person’ makes your heart let go
Off the pangs of guilty conscience which makes you feel low;
The stress, the tension tugging at your temple which is hard to hold.

It tickles your tummy, you feel butterflies in you bowels.
You begin to ‘live’ life and start looking forwards.
Not out of the blue but yeah you come out of your blues.
In sync with the million fold chorus you get the hints and clues
That life is an opportunity, not to be wasted.
No matter how many tears you’ve tasted.
Life is all about the choices you make.
And the chances you take.

Sincere apologies for being awry with the last part.
But that’s what love does to you; it kills your focus in cold blood.
In love, clarity of thought is AWOL and love sounds evil when spelt backward.
                                                    

                                                  ---Rakshit Nair

Ordeal to Triumph

What got into my noggin was the bottle
As I warm a chair in a motel.
I could feel the cold metal right next to my temple.
The pain weighed a quintal. Weighing down my shoulders like a boulder.
It would take me just a second to squeeze the trigger.
Smile seemed like a riddle. Felt like the world cared for me little.
But within me I heard the sound of a fiddle
Which made my thoughts to swivel.
Hope is the symbol of seagull.
Uh-oh I think the previous line needs a reversal.
But I told you, what got into my noggin was the bottle…

I’ve travelled this long. Did it all on my own.
Didn’t have a mentor to guide me along.
Why travel footsteps when I can create my own?
All you wonder and are seemingly keen
Is to know how am I so cool as a teen.
But have you ever pondered where and what have I been?
What inspired me back was the fiddle inside of me
Climbed, captured and conquered the peak.
This is the place that I’ve always been.
Who’s incredible upon the same pedestal as me?
But like every game, competition is a must to meet.
Bring it on peeps coz I ain’t scared to compete.
Because no matter how many fish in the sea
It’ll be so empty without me
Check! There is still left to achieve-
So kindly wipe the slate clean.

There is still within a thirst unquenched-
A fire still unextinguished-
To swim out of the mainstream and jump off the edge.
A competent within waiting to be challenged.
You need to have the zeal, the will and the courage
To compete and succeed and break out of the cocoon which
Recedes you, veils you and conceals your true self.
So stack your arsenal with your ammo and fuel your chariot with your rage.
Do something impossible like find a rhyme for orange.
Oh! I just did. It goes door-hinge and porridge and storage or Stone Henge. 

                                            ---Rakshit Nair